Are You Interested in Success?

success keyAre you interested in success?

We all are.  It’s the reward – feeling good – feeling positive!  It spurs us on to using our time to continue to achieve more and more.

Without achieving some level of success, we find despair.  So what are the secrets to achieving success?  You might this video very interesting – a quick overview of what it takes to be successful.

Keep this video close at hand – when you’re feeling that things aren’t working out, you might want to take a look at this.  It was created by Richard St. John – someone who has studied success for a long time . . .

Here’s to your success – every single day!

Lorraine Arams

Some Days Seem To Be Disasters

Some Days Seem to Be Disasters

Everyone gets them – everyone.

It’s also true that one person’s idea of a disaster is not the same for another person.  For one person, a finger nail breaking ruins their day.  For another, news arrives that they’ve lost their job.

It depends on the cycle of life you’re in whether you consider an event to be a disaster or a blip.

For some, losing a job is a relief.  They hated their jobs and losing their jobs with a buyout is ideal.  They can begin a new life and have the financial backing to help them do it.

A sixteen year-old going to the prom can be heartbroken over a broken nail after she’s spent weeks nurturing nail growth, hoping to “look perfect” for the big night!

This Week For Me . . . .

I have a picture of an orangutan near my computer.  He has his hands covering his face and the caption reads:  “I try to take life one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”  Some days are like that!  Some weeks are like that too.

I’ve had a whole week of disastrous days.  Every day, something added to an already challenging situation.  At this moment, the challenge seems insurmountable after months of work to resolve the issue.

Could I have done anything in managing my time to avert these “disasters”?  No.  A person can have all the time management skill in the world and disasters will still happen. Time management means managing your time, however, it does not mean that life will be perfect.  It won’t.  Life will often present something to derail the best laid plans.

So what do you do?

  • cry – get it all out – scream – let the steam out – like a pressure cooker, the steam builds and the lid has to blow off!
  • pick up a lot of wild bird seed and other food for wildlife in your town or city; take a shopping cart with you to carry the stuff and
  • go for a walk in the park or on the beach – anywhere you can find some birds and/or animals to feed
  • feed the creatures, walk a lot

Why?  Feeding these creatures will take the focus off of yourself.  You’ll be so absorbed with all the squirrels running like mad to get as many nuts as possible or the birds vying for food or the raccoons picking up the eggs from the cartoon, spinning them around and eating them, you’ll soon forget about your troubles.

It will take your mind off your “disasters”.  You’ll give your mind a rest, your emotions a rest and your head a rest. Walk as long as it takes even it’s two, three, or four hours or more.  If you’re at work, just tell your supervisor you won’t be back for the rest of the day.

When you are done walking, you’ll be very tired.  Have something warm to eat, go to bed early and likely, the world will be a better place the next day.

The Next Day . . . .

You’ll see that what seemed a disaster has a positive side to it.  Like volcanoes blowing the lid off the top of a mountain, the pressure is released, much is destroyed but the ash fertilizes the soil for bigger and better growth in the years to come.  Perhaps that’s what life is all about – disasters happen to release benefits.  We likely will never see the benefits until we “clear the air”.

Try my little formula – see if it works for you too – the next day is a whole new day.

Lorraine Arams

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Why Should You Focus On What You Want?

Focus on what you want – why?

Seems like an odd statement, doesn’t it – focus on what you want.  Don’t people do that?

Actually, I was reminded by a good friend of mine the other day that we don’t.  We more often than not focus on what we don’t want and get it!

Why Do We Focus on What We Don’t Want?

We’ve been trained that way.  Remember when you were a kid, adults made statements like these:

“You don’t want to be like that kid”

“You don’t want that – it’s not good for you”

“You don’t want to be doing that.  Good kids don’t do that”

“Don’t say that – it’s not right”

What did we do?  We avoided being, doing,  saying what we shouldn’t but . . . at the worst possible moment, we did!  Remember?

These statements got stuck in our minds and we focused on avoiding doing or being the things we shouldn’t.

What was the problem?  You got it – avoiding doing or saying or being something focused your mind on those things you shouldn’t.

What’s the Antidote?

The antidote is focusing on what you want.

After my conversation with my friend, I noticed I had manifested what I didn’t want – what I was actually avoiding.  Avoiding is working at getting what you don’t want because it’s at the forefront of your thoughts.

Change your thoughts – don’t try to avoid anything at all.  Instead, go towards what you want and focus only on that.

Can It Be That Simple?

It’s simple alright – very, very simple.  But the better question, “is it easy?”.  No.  If your mind, by habit, focused on what you didn’t want, then turning that around is a very intense process.

What Do You Do?

I’m sure there are as many solutions as there are people to this conundrum.  Here is what I did:

  1. wrote everything I wanted down and boiled it down to 3 things
  2. created a mindmap of all the ways I could get what I wanted
  3. created a plan of action for achieving them and placed each action in my calendar
  4. typed in my computer the 3 things I wanted, printed it and pasted onto my computer desk so it’s front and center
  5. watched my thoughts.  The minute I had a thought about what I didn’t want, I changed the thought to what I wanted.  I like pictures so I have a picture in my mind of what it looks and feels like to have what I want.  This is the most difficult part of it all because the thoughts, from years of practice on what I didn’t want, are so automatic, they are no so easy to spot.  Anyhow, like any habit, it takes time to change.

Next Time . . . .

The next time something appears into your life that you don’t want, think about this blog.  Refocus your energies on what you want.

Lorraine Arams

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How Do You Get Confidence?

How Do you Get Confidence?

Did you ever think about where confidence comes from?  There’s a lot of talk about having confidence in yourself, presenting yourself confidently, and feeling confident.  How do you become confident, feel confident, present yourself as confident?

Start Here

Watch a baby.  If you don’t have a baby, go to a mall or a day care and watch the babies especially the ones who are desperately trying to walk.  What do you see?

Do you see frustration when they try to walk and fall?  Do you see encouragement by the parents?  Do you see the smile on their faces when they successfully take a step?  Do you see them falling again but trying again and again and again to add a step or two each time?  Do you see that “look” when they have been able to add an extra step?

Why do you think they keep trying to walk despite the failures?

Confidence Builder

What happens in this process is building – building of a learned skill – walking – and with every small step, there is success.  With each success comes the desire to do more – to take additional steps.  Eventually, a baby is able to walk after trying for days and days and days.

Eventually, what do they have?  Confidence.  The confidence to walk and, once they can walk, it becomes just “something they do” without having to think about – they’ve attained a new ability.

So What?  What does this have to do with me?

Think about it.  It’s how you build confidence in anything you do and in yourself – one success at a time with  encouraging support from someone  – that’s the secret to getting, having and keeping confidence – build on your successes and get people in your circle who are continually encouraging you.

You need to do it by design.

  • acknowledge every single little success along the way and take another step; you won’t always know ahead of time what that next step is but once you’ve reached one step, it’ll be easier to know where you go next – there are no recipes for anything anywhere – you have to get there your way
  • take out of your circle of people anyone who is negative or not encouraging especially friends and family who are always “cutting you down” or telling you how stupid your ideas are.  You want people who love and encourage you no matter how ridiculous they think your idea might be – it’s your life, not theirs!  The motivation for them may be love or it may be jealousy – it’s not important where the negativity comes from.  All that’s important is that you must surround yourself with people who are interested in encouraging you towards success.  If you haven’t anyone in your circle, pay for somebody – a coach, a mentor –
  • stay focused on what you want and do something every day to attain that something you want – a promotion, a car, a marriage, wealth, health – anything you want – do something every single day no matter how minor – it’s the habit of building the confidence in yourself one step at a time reminding yourself consistently, every day, that it’s possible to achieve success whether the result is exactly how you had pictured it at the beginning – we do change our minds sometimes as we set out on various journeys.

But . . . my life is in the pits!

It’s the only way.

No matter where you are today, begin and especially if your life is in the pits right now!  Start with something in your control eg improving your health – take a walk today and decide what you’ll do tomorrow; improving finances – save a $1 today and plan what you can do tomorrow; get a new friend – join a club doing something you love like hiking, reading books, etc., introduce yourself and get to know people one at a time until you find that person you want to be friends with.

Track it.  Get a small book and track your progress and decide tomorrow’s step.

Soon . . . you’ll have confidence and you’ll wonder why it seemed so difficult to get confidence.  It works for everyone – the key is consistency – every single day building one tiny success upon the tiny success of the previous day and receiving encouragement from others to keep on keeping on because you’ve chosen the right people in your circle.

Lorraine Arams

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How Do You Get To Be Successful?

finding successHow do you achieve success?

There’s been volumes written about it.  Advice has been dispensed for hundreds of years.  And . . . yet success seems to be elusive for the majority of people – lives of quiet desperation.  What does it take to be successful —- really?

Defining Success

We’ve never been really good at defining success because we automatically think it’s the person who achieves the CEO position in a corporation or the anchor job on a major new network or Oprah style success in the entertainment business or making tons of money to buy mansions, cars, and live the life of luxury.

Actually, many people don’t want to be in the limelight and they don’t want to live in “dripping” wealth but they are made to feel bad because that’s not their dream.

Define success for yourselfwhat does it mean to you?  Write it down – really, really understand how you define success – what does it look like in your life?  If you want create a collage of it.  Focus on your own dream.

Use What You’ve Got!

Focus solely on your strengths – that’s it – your strengths.  Put all your energy on your talents – forget the rest.  AND place those strengths well . . . be very, very protective of them!.

It’s critical to find the right place where your talents will be nurtured, utilized appreciatively and where you will be treated honestly and fairly financially, emotionally and psychologically.

That’s the tall order in the success world – you need to have the courage to cut your losses as often as it takes in order to find that place in the world where your strengths will be appreciated and rewarded!

That’s the recipe for success – that’s how you get it!

There’s a place for everyone somewhere – the trick is finding that right place and never stopping the search until you’ve “come home” – that place – you’ll just know when you do. I found it – and I blossomed.  Soon, I noticed that different kinds of people found different places which may not have been good for me but which feed them – not every place is for everyone.  Don’t believe other people – check it out for yourself to locate that ideal fit!

How do you get to be successful? It’s simple and ever so challenging – here’s a toast to your great find!

Lorraine Arams